Choices and Consequences
by stexgirl2000
Summary: What happens when you love not one, but two people? (TuRS)
1. Can't Sleep

Title: Choices and Consequences -Engineering Project 8321A  
  
Author: Stexgirl2000  
  
Category: Romance/Angst with Het/slash  
  
Rating: R (for strong language and sexual situations)  
  
Codes: Tu/R/S with A, T'p  
  
Archive: Permission granted to Luminosity, Warp 5 and Lingusitics Database. Anyone else needs to ask me.  
  
Summary: This is a continuation of Taryn Eve's story Engineering Project 8321A -What are the aftershocks when three people realize that sex can change everything.  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own them, I get no money for them, and nothing that is Star Trek or Enterprise belongs to me. (Darn it!) The only thing that is mine are few characters I made up my little self. This disclaimer stands for all the chapters in this story.  
  
Author's Note: Thanks to Taryn for letting me write this and all of your beta help.  
  
Choices and Consequences - Engineering Project 8321A Part One: Can't Sleep  
  
The Jentiram had been gone three weeks and Trip Tucker still couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning in his bunk, he tried counting sheep, tried to work various engineering calculations in his head and tried some yoga based deep breathing exercises that Natalie had taught him years ago. Nothing worked. Suppressing a sigh, he got out of bed, turned on the light, and stared at his empty quarters.  
  
Trip knew all too well why he couldn't sleep. He missed them, he missed Hoshi and Malcolm. He missed their breathing, he missed the warmth of their bodies, he missed the camaraderie and insight of their conversations together, he missed the sex.  
  
The fact that he missed them had him scared and confused. Trip was not the most introspective person, but he had enough firm self-awareness to be honest with himself. Getting there had taken him awhile. Trip had prowled the ship late at night, trying to find different distractions from his thoughts.  
  
For five days he took to jogging around the ship. Four days later he switched to going to the ship's gym, working on the weight equipment, trying not to think. Then he tried doing sit ups in his quarters for three days, followed by working in engineering and scaring the crap out of the Gamma shift. After being told by Jon to not overwork himself, Trip had gone back to jogging around the ship. Finally, he allowed himself to tease out why he was scared.  
  
Sex was something he was comfortable with and overall he'd always had a "live and let live" philosophy when it came to the sexual preferences of others. But he never dreamed he'd have to expand that tolerance to include himself. He'd always been drawn to Hoshi, both intellectually and sexually. He just never considered that he'd be drawn in the same way towards Malcolm. Not for the first time, Trip wondered if it had been the same for the other two as well.  
  
Since the departure of the Jentiram, things were supposedly back to normal around the ship. Trip knew that was a lie. Of all the senior officers on the Enterprise, he was the easiest to talk to and a lot of the crew confided in him or let gossip float his way. From what he had gathered, he, Malcolm and Hoshi weren't alone in their problem. There was a lot of sexual and personal fall-out from the fourteen days of doubling, tripling and quadrupling up to make room for the refugees. Things were tense all around and no one knew quite what to do about it.  
  
On their last night together, Trip, Hoshi and Malcolm all agreed there was going to be no more "playing with Hoshi." Things would have to go back to the way it was before. They would be friends, comrades, fellow officers -- nothing more. Now things between three of them were awkward and strained. Trip reflected that they should have known it was easier said than done.  
  
Trip had a feeling that Malcolm and Hoshi might be going through the same thing as he. A week before, he'd gotten out of bed and started roaming the ship at 2 a.m. He'd caught a glimpse of Hoshi, tired and drawn in her robe, gripping a mug of something hot as she went into her quarters. Four days later, at 3 a.m., Trip saw Malcolm, jogging the corridors. When their gazes had met, Malcolm looked as closed off and uneasy as he did when Trip first met him.  
  
Pulling on some sweats and a tee-shirt, Trip decided not go jogging, but to go the mess hall and try some hot milk with butter and honey. It had always done the trick for him when he was a kid, making him feel sleepy and comforted. Perhaps tonight it would work for him, but he doubted it.  
  
When he entered the mess hall, it was quiet and empty. Finding a mug, he added milk, honey, and butter and set it in one of the instant warmers by the drinks dispenser. He went and sat by one of the windows, lost in thought. He was startled by the opening of the mess hall doors. Looking up, he saw Hoshi and his heart leapt, then sank.  
  
"Trip, what are you doing here?" Her eyes were darker than usual, red rimmed and he noticed deep circles under her eyes.  
  
"Well, I just couldn't sleep. So, I decided to try my momma's old remedy of hot milk with honey and butter. You?"  
  
Hoshi sat down, cradling her head in her hands. "I couldn't sleep either. I decided to get some tea and see if it would help."  
  
"Yeah, it looks like we're in the same boat, ain't we? Here, have a sip of this, it might just hit the spot."  
  
Hoshi sipped some of Trip's milk and managed a wan smile. Before she could say anything to him, the doors of the mess hall opened once more and Malcolm walked into the room. He stopped short when he saw Trip and Hoshi. His face was blank, but his eyes were cautious, his body stiff.  
  
"Can't sleep Malcolm?" Trip called out. "Come on over and join the club."  
  
Malcolm relaxed, smiled sheepishly and walked over to join them. Pulling over a chair, he sat down with a hard thump. "Yes, I've been having trouble sleeping. I thought I'd try some tea or hot milk."  
  
"Try this hot milk and honey concoction of Trip's. It's good," said Hoshi hesitantly. Trip nodded in agreement and Malcolm took a few sips before handing it back to Trip.  
  
The three of them sat there silently, letting the silence stretch out longer and longer. They avoided looking at each other, Trip looking at the stars, Hoshi looking down at the table and Malcolm looking down at the floor. Finally, Hoshi let out a deep breath and raised her head. Tears were streaming down her face and both men turned to her in shock. Trip exchanged a helpless glance with Malcolm.  
  
"It's all my fault. I ruined our friendships because I wanted to fulfill a fantasy. It wasn't fair of me to pull the two of you into something you weren't expecting..."  
  
Both men simultaneously went to hold her hand. Trip's hand went on the bottom, Hoshi's in the middle, and Malcolm's went on top. Trip looked at Malcolm and spoke first.  
  
"Hoshi, honey, we're all adults here. It's not your fault. Really...," he faultered, not quite knowing what to say.  
  
"I'm the one who started the ball rolling. You and Malcolm wouldn't have done anything if I hadn't acted the way I did." Hoshi began to cry even harder.  
  
Looking at her, Trip's brain finally kicked out something appropriate to come out his mouth. "Hoshi, stop it. Malcolm and I didn't do anything we didn't want to -- hell, we both have wanted you and probably each other since we came aboard the Enterprise. You can't place all the blame on yourself."  
  
Malcolm nodded and raised his free hand to stroke her hair. "Hoshi, and Trip better not hold this against me, he's right. If there's anywhere to place fault at all, Hoshi love, we can blame it on fate and those damned Jentiram. Bloody hell, it was like having a horde of walking, talking dogs come to life."  
  
Trip chuckled and Hoshi gave a rueful smile though her remaining tears. After a moment, she gave a deep sigh.  
  
"I miss you both. I never dreamed I'd miss you both so much. I'm getting less sleep now than I did with the two you on Trip's air mattress." All three shared a small laugh and lapsed into silence once again.  
  
After a few moments, Malcolm cleared his throat. Trip met his eyes questioningly and taking a quick glance, saw Hoshi give Malcolm a little smile of encouragement. "We made a bloody huge mistake thinking that we could all just go back to the way things were before we three became lovers," Malcolm said in subdued tone.  
  
"Now, I wouldn't call the three of us just lovers...," Trip began, but Hoshi cut him off, anger coloring her voice.  
  
"Trip, what other word or words could we use? Sleeping buddies? Fuck friends? Pre-polygamists?"  
  
Giving her a slightly annoyed look, Trip tried again. "Hoshi, if you could please let me finish my damn thought here, I was gonna say that we're not just lovers. We're best friends. The only other person I've ever called that is Jon, but I don't want to sleep with him. I just don't know what to call us. Hell, I really don't know what I want, I just don't want to go on like this..."  
  
"All right then. I hear what the two of you are saying," said Hoshi, her voice low and strained. "Malcolm says we've made a mistake going backwards. You want something more than what we've been living through these past two weeks. You want to know what I want? I want the two of you."  
  
Hoshi stopped and taking a deep breath, leaned over and kissed Trip, and turned to kiss Malcolm. "I've gone over and over it in my head. No matter what you two say, I started this, I'm the one who jumped off the cliff and pulled the two of you with me. And I did that because I was attracted to you both and couldn't choose. I didn't want to choose. I won't choose. And it's not a cop-out. I 've come to realize that I love you both and I want you both."  
  
As Hoshi finished speaking, the look on her face was defiant, challenging and loving all at the same time.  
  
Malcolm looked at them both straight on, his gaze unwavering. "All during the time we were sleeping together, I wondered how the dynamics between us would change. You won't choose between Trip and I? I can live with that. Bloody hell, I'm actually relieved, petrifed...oh, I sound like a stupid git, it's so hard for me to put into words!"  
  
Hoshi leaned into Malcolm, kissing him softly. "I know it is."  
  
Trip threw his head back and laughed. "Hell, Malcolm buddy, I am right there with you. Part of me has missed the two of so much and the other part of me is terrified. I've never been a prude, and don't you two dare make any jokes, but I've never been in this situation before. I mean, Christ Almighty, I never thought I'd ever...I mean, shit! I don't know what the hell to say...love two people as much as..."he trailed off in amazement as he looked at them.  
  
"As much as you love us, " Hoshi finished for him. She leaned forward and kissed him too. Looking at them both, she stood up, removing her hand from theirs. "I love you both. Come to bed with me...and don't worry, I got a new air mattress." She gave them a wicked grin.  
  
Malcolm stood up after her, a lazy smile on his face. "Good, because I am still too old to be considering a career as a contortionist." His face became serious. "Mattress issues aside, dealing with this, this situation isn't going to be easy. There's still so much we haven't thought of or dealt with. And we're probably going to break every fraternization regulation in Starfleet. God knows we're going to have to discreet."  
  
Trip drained the last of his milk and then also stood up. "Malcolm, you can be a pessimistic son-of-bitch, even if you're the bravest of us all. We've already broken all the fraternization regs in the book. Look, I know you're right, but we can deal with this. It'll be okay. So, let's do what Hoshi says and go... to bed." He leered slightly at the two them and they laughed.  
  
"Follow me, boys," said Hoshi in sexy drawl.  
  
"As always, Hoshi love, as always," said Malcolm with amusement.  
  
"Yeah darlin', we'll follow your lead." Trip grinned with anticipation.  
  
As they walked to the door, Trip noticed that Hoshi was in the middle, their hands entwined with hers. He felt more content than he had in weeks. 


	2. Dinner Conversations

Part Two: Dinner Conversations  
  
Hoshi sat in the nearly empty mess hall, picking at her dinner, listening to the conversation between her friends half-heartedly. Once a week she had a late dinner with Liz Cutler, Tammy Slivowitz, Maggie Chu, and Cynthia Anderson to shoot the breeze and gossip. There were two strict rules; no talking shop and no politics. Everything else was fair game, as long as it didn't get too personal. Normally, Hoshi would be happily knee deep into who was seeing whom, playfully rating the men on the ship, recommending music, trading novels and discussing movies, but tonight she had her men on her mind.  
  
Ten weeks of Trip and Malcolm was fun, challenging, and exhausting. It wasn't that they were together all the time that exhausted her, it was the amount of energy they had to put into not being found out. Double checking the hallway, not going into the mess hall at the same time, rotating who sat next to each other at movie night and at meals, not to mention keeping up a very professional front while on duty. Details, details, details. So many damn details.  
  
Malcolm and Trip treated it all like a game. Malcolm applying his tactical and strategic know-how, Trip addressing their situation with an engineer's eye for detail. At times it Hoshi found their attitude to be fun and she could laugh delightedly at their plans. At other times she found it to be childish and it pissed her off to distraction. The plus side to all of it was that the two of them were getting to be pretty good at reading her moods. And they were getting very good at cajoling her out of any bad mood. Last night had been one of those nights. Hoshi recalled how in the shower, Trip had started kissing his way down her back, while Malcolm had started down her front and then...  
  
"Earth to Hoshi! Helloooo Hoshi!" Hoshi blinked and looking up saw that Cynthia was waving a hand in front of her face. "Care to share your deep thoughts?"  
  
Hoshi gave her friends a wan smile. "Sorry, I was thinking about some work I did on the UT today. What were we talking about?"  
  
Maggie snorted. "We were discussing how the English stud muffin's been looking so relaxed lately. You're on the bridge with him, any guesses as to why he's been mellower?"  
  
Hoshi blushed as an image of Malcolm kissing his way down her stomach, with Trip licking her nipples, leapt into her mind "No not really..."  
  
"Oh, you know something Hoshi! Come on, give it up," exclaimed Tammy.  
  
"Really, I don't have any good guesses, I was just remembering how badly I did at target practice today." said Hoshi, struggling to keep her composure under her friends' watchful eyes.  
  
"Well, Hoshi may say that she doesn't have an idea, but I do," said Cynthia in a smug tone. "You're holding out on us, Sato."  
  
"Oh hell, now I've done it," thought Hoshi. She vainly tried to push down the rising sense of alarm that was building up her stomach as four pairs of eyes focused on her.  
  
"Don't get bratty Cyn, if Hoshi doesn't want to say anything, she doesn't have to," said Liz.  
  
Cynthia tossed her hair back and leaned forward. "Come on Hoshi, I saw Malcolm Reed go into your quarters two nights ago after movie night. What's going on?"  
  
"Good lord girl! Are you knocking boots with the Armory officer too?" Maggie gasped incredulously.  
  
Hoshi could feel the blush grow hotter on her cheeks and she could feel a rising tide of anger building up in her chest. These were her friends, for God's sake. Didn't they know when to lay-off?  
  
Liz looked in confusion at Hoshi, then at Maggie and Cynthia. "What the hell do you mean by too?"  
  
"I saw Trip Tucker coming out of Hoshi's quarters last week, at around 0500."  
  
Liz gave a whoop of laughter. "Busted, my friend, you are so busted."  
  
Cynthia leaned back in her chair and her expression twisted. "My God, Hoshi, you are an operator! Fucking both the good old boy engineer and the stiff upper Brit! Tell me, do you assign them their own nights to keep them from knowing? When did you become such a bitch in heat?"  
  
Hoshi was now very, very, pissed off. "Cynthia, if I were you, I'd drop this right now."  
  
As she stared daggers at Cynthia, she felt Liz put a hand on her arm. "I thought we all agreed that if we didn't want to discuss our personal stuff, we wouldn't. Enough Cyn, okay? Let's change the subject."  
  
"Oh, so when I question Hoshi about fucking around with two of the most yummy men on the ship, it's time to switch gears? No one did that for me when Maggie was grilling me about Sam," said Cynthia petulantly.  
  
Hoshi saw Maggie and Tammy glare at Cynthia in annoyance. "Cyn, I didn't grill you, you were volunteering waaaaay too much information," said Maggie.  
  
"And if Hoshi's seeing two men at the same time, there's nothing wrong with that. After all, there are more of them than there are of us. And you've slept with several men, so you shouldn't be giving Hoshi a hard time," said Tammy quietly.  
  
Cynthia's voice was pure venom as she retorted, "So what? I at least have my men one at a time. Hoshi's screwing two at a time, and in my book that's playing the slut."  
  
Hoshi was seeing red and she was ready to strangle Cynthia. Before she could say or do anything, Tammy shot her a sympathetic look and came back with, "No one's playing the slut here. I'm sleeping with two men, two men who I've been with since the Jentiram forced us to double up. Does that make me a slut, a whore? I don't think so. I enjoy being with them and they enjoy being with me, and that's all that matters."  
  
Cynthia stared at Tammy in disbelief. Maggie and Liz started to laugh and Hoshi looked at Tammy with new regard.  
  
Cynthia's face went from shock to disgust. "You, you are in a threesome? That's sick, perverted. Don't you have any concept of fidelity? Of morality? I thought I knew you."  
  
Maggie and Liz stopped laughing, and Tammy kept her face calmly composed.  
  
Hoshi took a deep breath and gave herself permission to rip into Cynthia, letting loose of her pent up anger in a long hiss. "Oh, that's rich coming from a woman who has slept through half of the men in engineering. Morality? Morality is letting the men in your life know where they stand with you. Fidelity? Is hopping from man to man a sign of fidelity? Why do we have to assume that being faithful means we can only love one person only? The Denobulans have marriages with three wives and three co-husbands each and they are faithful to each other. The Linnar have five husbands to one wife, the Omari two husbands with six wives and the Jentiram, one male to three females. Is that sick? Is that wrong?"  
  
Now Cynthia's face was red with anger. "Those are alien races Hoshi, we expect them to be different. But human beings weren't meant to go beyond the bonds of matrimony between two people. There's no harm in trying out different models before settling down, but we're only meant to love one person at a time. Anything else is immoral."  
  
Liz snorted in disgust. "That's the most stupid, hypocritical thing I've ever heard you say Cynthia. Do you believe that crap you just said? We have a huge capacity to love, in many different ways."  
  
"I'm not being a hypocrite. We're supposed to be in relationships one at a time, with one person at a time. Anything else, is warped and unnatural. Sleeping with two men, either at the same time or rotating them on a weekly basis, that's being perverted."  
  
Hoshi knew that if she didn't leave, she'd beat Cynthia into a bloody, pulpy mass. She didn't want to make a scene, but in a tight, low voice, ground out, "You've said a lot of outrageous things before, but tonight you've proven yourself to the world's most closed-minded bitch I've ever known."  
  
She then stalked out of the mess hall, shaking in rage, ignoring the curious looks of the few other diners in the mess hall. She could hear Liz and Maggie continue to argue with Cynthia as the doors of the mess hall shut behind her.  
  
As she walked hurriedly down the corridor, Hoshi heard Tammy calling after her. "Hoshi! Hoshi! Wait up!"  
  
Hoshi stopped, turning towards Tammy as she joined her. They started walking together.  
  
"Are you ok?" asked Tammy.  
  
"No, I am not ok!" snapped Hoshi. "I can't believe that Cynthia turned out to be so, so, so..."  
  
"So fucking narrow-minded?" said Tammy wryly.  
  
"Oh, that is such the understatement of the year! I don't know how you could be so calm while she spewed such crap!"  
  
Tammy laughed. "Calm? I was picturing the Captain asking me why I spaced her, followed by Lieutenant Reed leading off me handcuffs. That was the only way I could refrain from bitch slapping her senseless."  
  
Hoshi couldn't help it, she started laughing along with Tammy. They laughed for bit longer together, until they both sobered.  
  
"Well, anyway, I think we've seen the end of our Tuesday night dinner sessions, at least with Cynthia," said Tammy.  
  
"Two understatements in the space of five minutes. I think you set a record."  
  
Tammy stopped and Hoshi saw that her friend was giving her a searching look. "You got angry not because you're sleeping with Trip Tucker one night and Malcolm Reed the next. You got angry because your relationship with those two is much, much more complicated."  
  
Hoshi looked around the corridor apprehensively. There was no one else around, so she nodded her head and said, "Yes. But I don't want to talk about it out here."  
  
"Look, my quarters aren't far. Let's go there."  
  
When they got to Tammy's quarters, Hoshi paced the room while Tammy sat on her bunk, waiting patiently for Hoshi to start. Finally, Hoshi stopped her pacing and sat down next to her friend.  
  
"It all started with the Jentiram. Trip and Malcolm ended up bunking with me. I thought it would be like having a slumber party with my brothers. And then there they were, doing some goofy sparring and I came out of the shower. When I saw them, I was so turned on and some part of my brain said "go ahead, jump right in, the water's fine." So I did, I went after them right then and there. For all fourteen nights the Jentiram were here, we...we slept together every night and hardly got any sleep." Hoshi stopped and smiled a large satisfied smile.  
  
Tammy waggled her eyebrows at Hoshi and said, "Oh, yeah, I know where you're coming from. It was the best sex you've ever had too, I bet."  
  
Hoshi's smile became devilish. "Another understatement from you. Yeah, the sex was, hell still is, great. We tried after the Jentiram left to go back to being just friends, with no more playtime with me."  
  
"Obviously, that didn't last long. What happened?"  
  
Hoshi blew out a long sigh. "We became very uptight around each other. We stopped spending time with each other, except on duty, and even that became strained. I felt so guilty about what I had done and I couldn't sleep. The whole thing went on for weeks. Night after night, I thought about them, about my actions, and finally, I started writing it all out. I came to the conclusion that I love them both. I also figured out that I wouldn't choose between them. One night, we all ended up in the mess hall and talked. By the end of it we were all back in my quarters."  
  
Tammy chuckled in appreciation. "Yeah, Ivor, Billy and I went through something similar, but for only a week. I think Luis, Kim and Martin took four days."  
  
Hoshi felt her eyes widen in shock. "How many more of us are going through this and how the hell do you know so much?"  
  
"Kim and I work together and she tells me everything, whether I want to know or not. As for the how many, I really don't know, but, to borrow a phrase from the Sub-commander, if you look at it logically, it isn't really isn't surprising. I mean, come on Hoshi, we were packed in like sardines. Shit happens. I bet for the others, it was over once the furry guys left the ship. But for us, we came to realize that we weren't ready for things to end."  
  
Hoshi looked at her friend with new respect. Then a worrisome thought crept into her head. "Do you think everyone's going to react like Cynthia? I thought she would be more, more tolerant than she turned out to be. Oh, lord, now I wonder how Jon, I mean the Captain, would react."  
  
Tammy patted Hoshi on the shoulder. "Yeah, well, to tell you the truth, I was a bit surprised by Cyn too. I mean, she's more sexually active than most women on this ship. Maybe she's jealous, maybe she's threatened. Does it matter? As for the Captain, you'd know better than I would, he's your friend, and hell, he's Commander Tucker's best friend. I don't think any of us really have to worry, the Captain strikes me as a very pragmatic man. We're going to be out here, what another five years? We can't live monks and I think the Captain understands that."  
  
"You'd think that, but now, after tonight, I'm not so sure..." Hoshi began, and then was interrupted by the chiming of Tammy's door.  
  
Tammy got up and opened her door, revealing a nervous Liz and Maggie. "Come on in ladies."  
  
"Hey Hoshi, Tammy, we thought we'd find you here," said Maggie as she sat down at Tammy's desk.  
  
"Well, either here or at Hoshi's. But since you're closer to mess hall than she is, we thought we'd try here first," elaborated Liz as she sat herself down on the floor.  
  
"So what happened after I left?" asked Hoshi. She could feel her anger return and start making knots in her stomach.  
  
Liz grinned ruthlessly. "Well, let's just say that Maggie and I went into mega-damage control, because Cynthia was ready to go into full gossip spreading mode."  
  
"That bitch! Oh, shit, I could kill her, I could take one of Malcolm's phase pistols and shove it up her..." raged Hoshi.  
  
"Whoa there girl!" exclaimed Maggie. "We took care of her, in the best way possible."  
  
Liz's ruthless smile became even more pronounced. "Maggie and I were beautiful, absolutely beautiful. I think we make an excellent blackmail team."  
  
Tammy started laughing, and Hoshi looked at her other two friends in disbelief. "Are you two going to tell us what you said, or am I going to have torture it out of you?"  
  
Maggie and Liz shook their heads and joined Tammy in her laughter. "Let's just say that she is now in mortal fear of her next physical..." Liz gasped out.  
  
"And that she thinks that I have some security footage of her doing certain acts in certain off-limits areas..." added Maggie, tears streaming down her face.  
  
"So the two combined should make sure that she keeps her mouth shut for along time," finished Liz.  
  
Hoshi was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe properly. The four of them sat there, holding their sides, gasping, trying to wipe tears from their eyes.  
  
Eventually, Hoshi managed to control herself and said, "Thank you both, very much. I'm not ready to deal with gossip about Trip, Malcolm and I just yet. And I know the guys aren't yet either. I'm glad you both weren't as closed minded as Cynthia was."  
  
Maggie sobered up first, and gave Hoshi a small smile. "Hoshi, who you love or how you love them is your business. I know how difficult it is to own up to being in a relationship that doesn't follow tradition. My brother, he lives in San Francisco and is part of a line marriage. Most of my family freaked out when he married into the line, even though it's been legal for fifty years. My father and mother won't talk to him and pretend that he doesn't even exist. The only family members who still talk to him are myself, my cousin, and my grandmother."  
  
Liz nodded her head sympathetically, saying, "I have a cousin who lives on a research commune in Oregon, and she and her two partners share three children. However, my family's a bit more tolerant since she's provided the only grandchildren so far."  
  
Hoshi got on the floor and gave Liz a small hug and patted Maggie's knee in appreciation. Then Liz gave her and the others a thoughtful look, continuing with, "Seriously, there's more to it than being used to my cousin. I always thought that being an explorer in Starfleet meant that we're not only learning about new alien races and cultures, we're also supposed to learn about ourselves. That as we explore, we expand what it means to be human. If we can't tolerate differences in ourselves, it means that ultimately we can't accept them in the others we meet out here. That would mean that maybe the Vulcans are right - we're just children who don't belong out here."  
  
"Liz," said Tammy quietly, "That was beautifully said. I couldn't have said it better myself."  
  
The four of them sat quietly, and Hoshi could tell that Liz was very pleased with Tammy's praise.  
  
Hoshi noticed that Maggie was giving her a speculative look. "What is it now?"  
  
"Well, now that we've gotten some serious stuff out of the way, spill it Sato. How did you end up with both "he trips over alien babes" Tucker and "I love explosions" Reed? Come on now, I want details! Juicy details! Last week I spilled the beans about Travis and I in zero gee, so it's only fair."  
  
"Yep," chimed in Liz, "I've always wondered if engineers really know how to fit all the parts together and if armory officers really know how to use their phase pistols. C'mon Hoshi, I want dirt, good dirt."  
  
Tammy erupted in hysterical laughter and Hoshi felt her face turn hot. She buried her face in her hands. "Oh, give me a break, please..."  
  
"No!" shouted Liz and Maggie simultaneously.  
  
They didn't give up for the rest of the evening. 


	3. What Real Men Are

Part Three: What Real Men Are  
  
Malcolm Reed was desperate for the evening to be over. He wanted nothing more than to go back over to the Enterprise, take a long hot shower, and then go and shag with his two lovers until they were all senseless.  
  
Instead, he was on this blasted cargo ship, on duty, watching people drink, dance, and make pointless small talk. He wanted to throttle Phlox for suggesting this whole mixer idea. He wanted to throttle Captain Archer for agreeing to it. God, it had been a long week.  
  
First there was the whole incident with the Liandar, who some strange reason thought they were Andorians and fired on the ship. He was proud of his shooting, he'd disabled the ship and Hoshi was able to get through to the Liandar and establish that no, they were not Andorians. There was minor damage to the Enterprise, and in the end, they were able to open up diplomatic contact with a new alien race. Score one point for them.  
  
As they repaired the damage to the Enterprise, they discovered that the phase cannons suffered some sort of short to its systems. Fixing that took three days of double shifts. Malcolm worked himself and his staff to the limit, driven by his determination that the Enterprise would never be helpless.  
  
Just when they'd finished the repairs, the Enterprise had received a distress call. It was from the supply ship they were scheduled to rendezvous with, The Helios. It came under attack from some unknown marauders. The Enterprise arrived in the nick of time, and they destroyed two of the attacking ships. The third they chased off.  
  
Unfortunately, the Helios suffered enough damage that both crews had to work together to make repairs and unload the cargo. At least Trip's engineering staff, working with the Helios' crew, managed to finish their repairs in three days. Malcolm and his staff worked another round of double shifts to repair the new defensive weapons on the Helios. Those repairs took them four days.  
  
When all the repairs were finished, Phlox had suggested to Archer and the Helios' Captain Tawia that they use the now empty cargo ship for a party, and let the two crews lower their stress levels. The two captains agreed to the concept. Captain Archer put Malcolm in charge of the security for the party, to make sure that no fights were started if anyone got drunk.  
  
And all the while, other than being on duty, Malcolm had not seen Hoshi and Trip. The separation was the longest time apart from one another in about six months. It was enough to drive him up a wall.  
  
Looking across the now decorated cargo bay, Malcolm could see Hoshi, talking with Captain Tawia and her third in command, a Lieutenant Reynolds. Tawia looked happy and at easy, but Reynolds looked agitated, and perturbed. Malcolm noted that for later and then he indulged in a moment to study Hoshi. He smiled to himself; she looked so relaxed, so animated, so beautiful. It always amazed him that she could be so open with people and get them to open up. He loved the way her face could light up as she communicated with people. He wondered idly if she was speaking to them in English, or in the African dialect that was Captain Tawia's first language.  
  
Malcolm walked over the the other side of the room, taking in the throng of dancers in the middle of the cargo bay. He marveled at the mix of people. There were groups of three, four, and more dancing together. A small conga line snaked its way through the crowd. Scattered through out were pairs of dancers; men and women, men and men, women and women, either flirting and talking, or moving close together. A few couples were, to Malcolm's inner amusement, were making out on the dance floor. Yes, he surmised, tomorrow's mess hall gossip was going to travel faster than warp speed.  
  
Leaning against the wall, Malcolm saw Cynthia Anderson walk over to Hoshi, who stiffened as the woman said some remark. He saw Hoshi toss back her hair, the look on her face disdainful. He wished that he had Hoshi's remarkable gift of hearing. He wondered what was being said. He saw Reynolds leer at Anderson and they walked off together. Hoshi, he noticed, looked relieved, and continued to talk to Captain Tawia. After a bit, Chef wandered over to join the conversation.  
  
As he let his gaze wander, he spotted Trip over by the make-shift bar. Trip was flirting gently with two of the Helios' female crew members, while simultaneously swapping outrageous jokes with a mix of men from the two ships. He too had the gift of being open with people, his natural friendliness drawing others out. Not for the first time, Malcolm deeply envied both of his lovers and wondered what exactly it was that they saw in him.  
  
Malcolm decided that he'd stood in one spot for too long and started to walk around the cargo bay. As he walked around, he made eye contact with his armory staff who were on duty with him. He flashed a hand signal at each of them that asked: "Any problems?" They all flashed back the signal that said: "No."  
  
Slowly ambling in a circuit, Malcolm saw that Reynolds and Anderson moved over to a small knot of Helios' crewmen. He frowned slightly as she pointed to several of the Enterprise crew, including himself. He knew from Hoshi that she was a gossip and cruel one at that. He made a mental note to keep an eye on her. Continuing on, he observed that there were many small groups alongside of the dance floor, people talking and pointing. Gossip was an integral part of any party. Perhaps he was being too cautious.  
  
"So far, so good," he thought to himself. Yet, a voice in the back of mind said that something would go wrong.  
  
Malcolm walked over to Jon Archer, who was standing and talking with Susan Tallchief, the chief engineer of the Helios. Malcolm noted that for most of the evening, they talked only to each other. He wondered if Hoshi and Trip had noticed. One of their pet worries was what Malcolm called, "Jon hasn't gotten shagged in a long time and that's bad." If Malcolm was any judge, the engineer of the Helios would be happy to solve that problem.  
  
As he came closer, he noted that the Captain looked a bit annoyed at the prospect of being interrupted. Still, he needed to make a quick report. "Captain Archer, Lieutenant Commander Tallchief. Sir, I just wanted you to know that everything is fine so far."  
  
"Good, Lieutenant Reed, good. Are you going to be relieved soon and get to join the party?"  
  
"Yes sir, Lieutenant Vasquez will be taking over for me in an hour and a half. However, I won't be joining the party. It's been a very long week and I want to catch up on some sleep. But, thank you for asking sir."  
  
Jon Archer smiled at Malcolm and said, "Well, Malcolm, enjoy your rest then. Carry on."  
  
As Malcolm walked away, he was amused by the Captain's quick dismissal of him. Yes, the Captain did not want be distracted from his tete-a-tete with the stunning engineer. In fact, her hair reminded him of Hoshi's. He gave them no more than ten minutes to discreetly walk out together. Trip would be ecstatic if his best friend got, what was that blasted phrase Trip used two weeks ago? Got his car waxed? Got his board waxed? Bloody hell, he was must be tired if he couldn't remember that ridiculous phrase.  
  
Midway through his circuit around the cargo bay, Malcolm noticed that Captain Tawia was leaving the party with Chef. That was very interesting indeed. Finishing up his walk, Malcolm decided to stand a bit closer to the door leading back in to the main part of the Helios. He glanced at his watch. Three minutes left.  
  
Two minutes later, as a loud dance song started up, Captain Archer and Susan Tallchief quietly left together. Malcolm gave himself a mental pat on the back.  
  
For the next half hour, he made two more circuits around the cargo bay. Afterward, he decided that he could stay for the rest of the time by the door. As he watched the crowd dance, he saw that Hoshi was slowly making her way towards him. He gave her a small smile as she grew closer. "Hi, Malcolm!" she yelled over the music. Then when she reached him, Hoshi leaned in and said into his ear, "How much longer are you going to have to be on duty? I want to go home and try out the new bed."  
  
Malcolm gave Hoshi a puzzled look. "What new bed? You have a new bed?"  
  
Hoshi grinned mischievously. "Don't you remember? Trip's engineering project. The one you had to take to T'Pol all those months ago."  
  
Malcolm stared for a moment and then grinned. "My god, the madman re-built it? When did he have the time? How did he get the parts into your room without being seen?"  
  
Hoshi laughed delightedly. "He's been bringing it in piece by piece over the past week. The hardest part was the mattress, which we had to sneak in at three in the morning. We finally got it all together last night, after Trip rested from pulling his double shifts. Now all we need is you so we can try it out."  
  
"Thank you for waiting for me," said Malcolm softly.  
  
"Malcolm, we'd never do anything without you. We're all in this together." Hoshi gave Malcolm a look that reminded him of the night they had met up in the mess hall, a look filled with love and challenge.  
  
Malcolm smiled at Hoshi, noticing that Trip was making his way over to them. "Here comes the third Musketeer of our little group."  
  
Trip gave them both a big, smug grin as he joined them. "Hey Malcolm, how much longer do you have to be here? Did Hoshi tell you about the big bed? It's callin' out for a test drive."  
  
"I have less than an hour left. Then we can...what was that phrase you used last week at movie night?"  
  
Trip snorted, "...blow this joint. That's the phrase you're looking for."  
  
"Hmm," said Hoshi suggestively, " I know what I want to... blow... later on."  
  
Malcolm could feel his face turn red as he and Trip started laughing. "Hoshi," gasped Trip, "you can be such an evil woman."  
  
"That's why you love me. And really, you two do make it all too easy for me sometimes."  
  
As Trip and Hoshi laughed some more, Malcolm let his attention re-focus on the room. He got to the far corner, what he saw made him tense up. "Oh, that's not good."  
  
Trip and Hoshi immediately stopped laughing. "What's wrong, Lieutenant?" asked Trip, automatically switching into his "Commander Tucker" persona.  
  
"I think Lieutenant Reynolds from the Helios is giving Ensign Lewis and Lieutenant Allen a hard time for dancing with each other. And Ensign Anderson is there with him. She appears to be very drunk. I'm going to go over and see if Sawyer and Castillo need my help. Excuse me."  
  
As he walked away, he heard Hoshi say, "Oh hell, a drunk Cynthia is not a good thing."  
  
Walking as casually as possible, Malcolm caught the eyes of his other people, motioning them to be ready, just in case. He was pleased to see that his staff were well aware of the situation brewing in the corner. As he arrived he heard Reynolds's saying in a nasty, slightly drunk voice, "C'mon you think you're better than me? Because you serve on the Enterprise, or should I say, the Faggotprise? Is that what you all do other there, fuck each other up the ass? Shouldn't be tolerated, you perverted motherfuckers, fuckin' sinners." Reynolds swayed slightly and stumbled.  
  
Three of the Helios' crew members tried to steady him and one said, "Lieutenant Reynolds, why don't you come with us to the galley for some coffee, sir? We think you've had enough tonight."  
  
"Fuck you Tomlinson, fucking little puke. You and Chin and O'Dell, fuckin' jerk-offs, you wanna fuck those stuck-up Faggotprise pricks," slurred Reynolds as he jerked himself away from his crewmates. Helplessly, they shrugged at Malcolm and looked as if they'd heard such bile before.  
  
"Lieutenant Reynolds," said Malcolm in what Hoshi once told him was his softest, but-I take-no-shit Armory officer voice, "the bar is closed for you. You need to start sobering up. Let Chin or O'Dell help you get some coffee."  
  
"Fuck you, you little Limey shit. Jesus! They're letting fuckin' limey fags in Starfleet!"  
  
A very drunk Cynthia Anderson, started giggling. "He's the English stud muffin I tol' you about. He's fucking Hoshi over there an' she's fucking the Commander too! We've got fucking an' sluts galore!"  
  
Malcolm glanced over to a woman he remembered as being friend of Ensign Anderson's, a mortified looking Victoria Brown. She stood in the middle in the now growing crowd of Enterprise and Helios bystanders. He motioned her over to a swaying Cynthia Anderson saying calmly, "Ensign Brown, please take your friend back to the Enterprise and see if you can get her sober."  
  
Reynolds gripped Cynthia tightly as Victoria moved to get her friend. "We're not finished drinkin' and she's not goin' anywhere. You can't order me around, you fuckin' cocksucker." Letting go of Cynthia, he stared defiantly at Malcolm and the rest of the people around him, his body coiled and tight.  
  
It was the change in body language that made Malcolm take a pause. He looked carefully at Reynolds and saw that while the man had been drinking, a lot of his drunkenness was an act. For some reason he was being deliberately provoking. It was time to be careful, because a man looking for fight would do anything to get one.  
  
Keep his tone mild, Malcolm replied, "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I am the senior officer on duty since our captains have retired for the evening. Your captain agreed that I am in charge of keeping this party on an even keel. Therefore, I am ordering the bar closed. Now, as a courtesy to Captain Tawia, I am going to let your people escort you out of here, If you don't go with them, you'll spend the night in the brig."  
  
Reynolds' face twisted into a sneer. "Fuck off! Cynthia told me all about you. Tell me, do you fuck that Hoshi bitch and suck off your Commander? I bet you do. I bet you're the fag whore of the whole fuckin' ship. You couldn't drag me off you little limey bastard, you're not a real man. None of you Enterprise shits are real men!"  
  
The music had stopped and Reynolds' voice echoed across the cargo bay. The laughter of a few Helios crew members followed. The rest of the Helios crew, however, looked either embarrassed, disgusted, or both. The Enterprise crew members looked disgusted, except for Cynthia Anderson, who slid to the floor, giggling drunkenly.  
  
At this point, Malcolm saw that Hoshi and Trip were beside him. He figured he must have really tensed up because they each put a hand on his shoulder. The contact warmed him, calmed him. "Commander Tucker, sir, would you please contact Captain Tawia? I think she needs to be here."  
  
"I was about to do that Lieutenant Reed. Lieutenant Reynolds, you are here by ordered to go with Lieutenant Reed and Lieutenant O'Dell and are confined to your quarters until Captain Tawia deals with you." Trip's face was the most serious Malcolm had ever seen in a non-combat situation.  
  
Reynolds' face flushed with anger. "Screw you," he spat, "and screw the fucking bitch with you too. I'll fucking kick the ass off your tiny ass boyfriend here and then I'll get to you." With that he launched himself at Malcolm and several men who laughingly supported him began to fight with the armory staff on duty. The other Helios and Enterprise crewmembers quickly backed away to the walls of the cargo bay, not wanting start a free for all.  
  
As he smoothly moved away from his attacker, Malcolm saw that Hoshi quickly went over to the comm system by the door to page both captains. He could also see that Trip, along with his armory staff and a mix of the two crews, had easily subdued the other would-be attackers. Reynolds's however, was a different problem. He slipped out from his sleeve a rather nasty stiletto and was wielding the weapon expertly.  
  
Malcolm waved back the spectators and said, "Reynolds, if you put the stiletto down now, your court-marshal won't be for life with hard labor or worse. If you continue this, it's going to get very nasty."  
  
"Fuck you! No real man is a cocksucker, sleepin' with a bitch slut and an ass-fucker." He slashed at Malcolm, getting his shoulder, and danced away.  
  
Malcolm winced slightly and forced himself not to feel the pain. Realizing that the man was too far gone in his anger, he decided to bait Reynolds until he could disarm him safely. He ducked and swerved and bobbed quickly, making the other man miss.  
  
"Not a real man am I? Let's see, I've served my ship for three and a half years, been wounded several times while protecting my ship and its crew, nearly died several times too. For most people, that would be considered a good sign that I'm a real man. But if I stopped there, I'd be selling myself short."  
  
Reynolds attacked again, making a shallow gash across Malcolm's chest. Malcolm rolled out of the way of another slicing attack and with a quick jump up, kicked Reynolds in the chest. Reynolds staggered, crashed into a some chairs, but was up with his knife still in hand before anyone could subdue him.  
  
Malcolm kept on talking as Reynolds went to attack him again. In the background he could hear doors opening. "You know what a real man is? A real man can love whom ever he wants, shag whom ever he wants and not be afraid. A real man doesn't get threatened by those who are different than he is and doesn't insult them. Doesn't use vile, antiquated, prejudicial words to attack them, either. You, my friend, are not a real man."  
  
"Fuck you! I'll kill you and piss on your grave."  
  
Seeing an opening, Malcolm charged forward, flowing into a roundhouse kick that knocked the stiletto out of Reynolds' hand. He kicked again and moved into a punch that slammed the other man into a wall, stunning him. Malcolm punched Reynolds one more time and knocked him out.  
  
Breathing easily and wincing slightly in pain, he saw that the room was quietly emptying out. Hoshi and Trip were ushering people out the door.  
  
Malcolm turned and looked at Sawyer and said wearily, "Ensign, take this bastard and throw him into the Helios's brig or what ever passes for one. And make sure the others who were trying to start fighting are confined to their quarters."  
  
"Yes, indeed, by all means," said the quiet, lilting voice of Captain Tawia. Next to her stood Captain Archer, looking relived.  
  
Tawia turned to Archer, a sad and bitter look on her face. "I'm so sorry Archer, I didn't think this would happen. Reynolds has made homophobic and other types of repugnant remarks before, but I thought my reprimands stopped him. I was going to have him rotated off my ship when we returned to Earth, and now I'm going to have to go through a formal court-martial. Good God, I had no idea our party would set him off."  
  
"No need to apologize, Captain Tawia. At the time, you handled the situation in way you thought best. It's all we can do. He chose to screw- up and now he'll have to live with the consequences."  
  
Archer turned his attention to Malcolm. "Lieutenant, go back to the Enterprise and get Phlox to look at those cuts. You did a good job, I'm pleased that this didn't turn into a free for all and no one got hurt."  
  
"Except for me, sir," said Malcolm with wry humor. Over by the door, Hoshi and Trip laughed in relief, while Archer and Tawia smiled.  
  
Archer and Tawia started talking to each other and Malcolm blocked it out as he walked to the door. He was so tired. As reached the door, Hoshi and Trip simultaneously enfolded him into a hug. They each held his hands and walked out with him, forgetting that Archer and Tawia might be watching. As the doors closed, they heard Tawia say, "They are a strong triad. How long have they been together?"  
  
They walked down the corridor in silence. Finally, Trip said, "Well, now, the cat's out of the bag."  
  
Hoshi paused their progress down the corridor, giving both Malcolm and Trip a kiss, and then took their hands in hers once again.  
  
"Yes, and I have no clue as to how Jon's going to react," sighed Hoshi. "How about you Trip?"  
  
"Nope, not a one. Not this time."  
  
Malcolm looked at his two lovers and began to chuckle. "What is so funny?" demanded Hoshi. Trip looked at him in askance.  
  
"I just wonder if that bloody bed is cursed. First, T'Pol takes it away from us and then before we can use it, we inadvertently out ourselves to Captain Archer. Let's get me fixed up quickly and maybe we can use the big bed before anything else happens."  
  
"Malcolm, we won't get a chance, because Jon will haul us into his ready room after Phlox finishes patching you up," said Trip.  
  
"I don't know about that. I think that the Captain is going to have to choose between going back to bed with Lieutenant Commander Tallchief or dealing with us right away. Of the two, I'm betting he'll chose to be with her first and deal with us in the morning. What do you think?"  
  
Trip and Hoshi glanced at each other and looked back at Malcolm. "You're right," they said together.  
  
And he was. 


	4. Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinati

Part Four: Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations  
  
As he sat in his private dining area, Jon Archer tried to ignore the headache that was pounding in his head. He knew he could go to Phlox, but that would mean talking to the doctor about the events of last night. No way in hell was he going to talk about it. He did not want to deal with Phlox psychoanalyzing him, his reactions, or any of it. Christ, he didn't want to think about it.  
  
He couldn't help but think about it. Trip, Hoshi, and Malcolm. Lovers. Why was he the last know? Or had he known sub-consciously and buried the realization deep, out of sight? They were together, they were having sex with each other. The three of them. He couldn't wrap his head around the concept.  
  
After the ignominious end to the Enterprise/Helios mixer, Jon had gone back to Susan's quarters and had made love to her for the second time that night. No, he corrected himself, he fucked her hard, trying not to dwell on what Captain Tawia said to him.  
  
"They are a strong triad. How long have they been together?" she asked.  
  
"Triad? Together? You mean lovers?" Jon hoped he wasn't looking like a total idiot as he stared at her.  
  
"Their body language suggests that they are. And I overheard some of your people speculating about them earlier tonight, some in particular. You didn't realize, did you?"  
  
Jon felt foolish as he said,"No, I didn't."  
  
Tawia nodded understandingly. "Very often, we fail to see what is right under our noses, don't we? As I did, when I thought that I had Reynolds under control."  
  
The rest of the conversation had been about Reynolds and then they said goodnight.  
  
In the morning, before he left the Helios, he and Susan had sex again. He took her hard in the shower, trying desperately not to think. It occurred to him that he was feeling... betrayed by his friends, by his senior officers. Feeling Susan moaning against him helped to squelch that train of thought.  
  
The door to the room opened and T'Pol walked in, her face set in its usual Vulcan mask, but her eyes looked, shadowed, almost concerned. A brief thought flickered in his head that maybe she was concerned for him.  
  
"Good morning, Captain."  
  
"Good morning, Sub-commander."  
  
There was a long pause as T'Pol sat down. A crewman came in and set down breakfast for them both. Jon nodded a quick thank you as the man left. He then stared at his food.  
  
T'Pol took a deep, audible breath, which startled Jon out of his reverie. "Captain, I do not know how to broach this subject with you in any other way but directly. I know what transpired last night on the Helios."  
  
"Yes, well, Captain Tawia has her former third in command firmly locked up..."  
  
"No, you misunderstand me, Captain. I know that you found out about Commander Tucker, Lieutenant Reed and Ensign Sato and their relationship." T'Pol looked at him unblinkingly.  
  
"How the goddamn hell did you know when I had no clue!" Jon exploded. He felt doubly foolish and even more betrayed.  
  
"I will answer your question, Captain, when you control your anger," replied T'Pol calmly.  
  
Jon forced himself to take several long, deep breaths. "My anger is under control. Now, would you please explain?"  
  
"Certainly. I observe human behavior very closely, mainly due to your order for me to learn to fraternize more with the crew."  
  
Jon felt incredulous. "That was well over a year ago."  
  
T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "True, but you never countermanded the order. I have spent much time watching, listening, and talking to the crew. I have also had many detailed conversations with Doctor Phlox about human interactions. "  
  
"He's rubbing off on you, you're practically verbose today." Jon was amazed that he could begin to find this amusing.  
  
"I am not through explaining. Eight months ago, when we had the Jentiram on board, I began to notice that Commander Tucker, Ensign Sato, and Lieutenant Reed were losing sleep, yet more tolerant of each other. They also...smelled of one another."  
  
She paused and Jon swore a glimmer of amusement flashed across her eyes.  
  
"Then one evening, Lieutenant Reed presented me with an engineering project, number 8321A for approval. It was designed by Commander Tucker and it was for a very large bed. I approved it for the Jentiram refugees, even though I knew that Commander Tucker designed it for himself and his companions."  
  
Jon gave a bark of laughter, despite his warring emotions. "How did you know it wasn't originally meant for the Jentiram?"  
  
"If it had been, then Commander Tucker himself would have presented the project to me and not Lieutenant Reed."  
  
"Oh. So your telling me that you've known for eight months and never said anything to me? I have to deal with, process this, you know. Their relationship breaks every reg in the book, and god knows how the rest of the crew will react." Jon felt his betrayal, his frustration, and his anger begin to rise again.  
  
"Captain... Jonathan..." said T'Pol in the gentlest voice he'd ever heard her use, "you are correct, you do need to process this. Not for Starfleet, not for the crew, but for yourself."  
  
Jon slumped back in his chair in shock at her words.  
  
"Commander Tucker is your oldest friend on this ship. Ensign Sato is a good friend of yours, and you view her in many ways as a younger sibling. Lieutenant Reed is someone you have worked very hard to establish a trusting bond with. It is logical for you to be...to be hurt by their silence about their relationship."  
  
"You have no idea what you're talking about. You have no idea about how I feel, who I am, or about my friendships with Trip, Hoshi and Malcolm," Jon seethed.  
  
"Captain, as a Vulcan, I do not experience the emotions humans feel, but I have learned a great deal through my...my friendship with you. I have come to know you. I have come to trust you. I was under the impression that you had come to trust me. I see that I have may have been...premature in drawing that conclusion." T'Pol began to calmly eat her breakfast.  
  
Jon buried his face in his hands, staring between them at his food. She was right. Damn it all, he hated it when she was right. She'd come a long way in understanding humans and understanding him. How was it that this unemotional Vulcan woman pushed him to look at the parts of himself he'd rather not contemplate?  
  
Minutes dragged by and Jon dragged himself kicking and screaming towards the truth. He was hurt. He was angry. Why was it that Trip didn't trust him enough to tell him about the change in his life? His best friend was sleeping with, no, having a relationship, with two other people he also considered friends. He was so pissed off that Trip seemingly didn't have enough faith in their friendship that he'd be understanding, hell, even happy for him. In his book, friends shared the good, the bad, and ugly in their lives. And that Trip didn't even try to tell him, it made him feel deeply disappointed.  
  
Jon took a deep breath, letting himself look deeper. He was jealous of them. Good God, he was jealous of them. He was envious of their ability to let themselves love. It was a slap in the face, reminding him that deep down inside, he was lonely. Being the Captain meant that he'd have to grab comfort from strangers where he could and he could never cross the line romantically, let alone sexually, with anyone on his ship. He was always alone. But all of that, he further mused, came with being the Captain. Being alone, that he could live with, not being trusted was what he couldn't take.  
  
Another thought barreled its way across his mind: no, that wasn't true, he had T'Pol. He had her support, her trust, her cool Vulcan logic that challenged him to be a better Captain, a better person. And if he let himself look at the whole thing logically, he still had Trip's, Hoshi's and Malcolm's friendship as well. Still, he was pissed off, and deeply hurt. Suddenly, Jon remembered the quote, from the book she had given him so long ago. Was that what she was leading up to before he'd let his anger strike out at her?  
  
He looked up T'Pol and said quietly, " I apologize for what I said. I do trust you and I am honored that you trust me...that you consider me to be your friend. I remember reading in the book you gave me about Surak, I remember a quote about diversity."  
  
T'Pol put down her fork. She held Jon's eyes as she said, "Infinite diversity in infinite combinations. Surak taught us that it exists in many ways, in many situations. That there is an inherent logic in diversity and its combinations. The task for us is to find that logic and accept what it created."  
  
"So you're telling me that I should view Trip, Hoshi and Malcolm's relationship as an extension of that concept." Jon held her gaze and hoped that she could see in his eyes the dawning of his understanding.  
  
"Yes, that would be the most logical thing to do, for yourself and for them."  
  
"That part, I can do. It's the lack of trust in our friendship that I'm angry about. It's going to take a lot of work for me to get over my emotions about the whole thing. I can't just go on as if everything is the same. Everything has changed."  
  
"Captain, you once told me that you believed that working hard towards a goal makes it more precious once you reach it. I believe that sentiment applies to friendships as well."  
  
"That's very true, it's especially true when you apply it to friendships. You've given me a lot to think about."  
  
Jon then reached out and gently held her hand. "Thank you."  
  
T'Pol's eyes were wide and wise as she replied, "You are welcome."  
  
Jon stood up. "I'm going to go to my ready room to think. I'll see you on the bridge."  
  
He left, still not entirely knowing what he was going to say to his friends or how he would deal with the entire situation. The only thing he did know was that he was going to do his best not to make a decision that he would later regret.  
  
***  
  
Trip got out of the shower, trying to suppress his rising anxiety. Each step he took towards going back on duty seemed like a step towards disaster. So far, Jon had not paged them to meet him. Jon had not done anything. Trip wondered if his friend was waiting for him to bring up what happened last night. For the first time in all the years he'd been friends with Jon, Trip had no clue what to say or do.  
  
Trip woke up first this morning. Usually, he was the last of the three to wake up. Malcolm would be first, and he would wake Hoshi with kisses down her back or down her stomach. Then, if the sound of Hoshi moaning didn't wake him, Malcolm and Hoshi would kiss Trip awake, leaving a trail down his chest and thighs. Today, Trip had simply woken up on his own, his mind a whirl with worry.  
  
He'd lain there on the big bed, with part of his mind very pleased with the results of his engineering project. It had held up very well to the sexual gymnastics the three of them performed last night. That it was also comfortable to boot was another plus. As he thought about what was next, the fear began to rise up in waves. He eased himself gently out of the bed and went into the shower, hoping the heat of the water would calm him.  
  
As he toweled off, Malcolm came into the bathroom. His blue eyes were shadowed, but he smiled at Trip and kissed him. Trip returned his lover's kiss, not surprised that Malcolm was now awake.  
  
Malcolm pulled back from their kiss and said quietly, "I know I'm usually the gloomy, pessimistic one, but no matter what happens, we'll cope and get through this."  
  
"Yeah, well, we might get through this with our careers somewhat intact, but I'm not sure my friendship with Jon will. He's been my best friend for so long now, I've stopped counting the years. We've gone through so much shit together and now I'm... I'm really scared." Trip stopped, not knowing what to say anymore.  
  
Malcolm pulled Trip into a hug and they stood there quietly. Trip closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He felt another set of arms embrace him and Hoshi's voice was in his ear saying, "I'm scared and worried too. But Malcolm's right, we'll get through this."  
  
After several long minutes, Trip broke away from Malcolm and Hoshi. He gave them both a quick kiss. "Look, I'm going to go back to my quarters, dress and just go on duty. That is if Jon hasn't left a message for me to report to the bridge. "  
  
Hoshi rubbed Trip's back. "He hasn't left one here, nor has he called us yet. If hasn't by the time we all go on duty, then it will probably mean that he's going to talk to us off the record."  
  
"She's right, Trip," said Malcolm and he patted Trip on the shoulder.  
  
"Yeah, I know, I know. Look, you two need to shower and I've got to get into uniform. I can't believe I forgot to bring a clean one over here once again. I'll see ya'll later." With that Trip walked out of the bathroom and started to shrug into his clothes from last night.  
  
As he walked back to his quarters, Trip struggled to put up the cheerful face he normally wore. Once inside his room, he checked to see if there were any messages on his computer. Nothing. Dressing quickly in a fresh uniform, Trip made his way to engineering. By the time he entered, Trip securely fixed into place "Commander Tucker", chief engineer, and pushed all of his fears aside. It was time to do his job.  
  
For Trip the rest of the day flew by as he buried himself in his work. After he conferred with Lieutenant Commander Tallchief about the status of a final repair, the Helios was detached from the Enterprise and was on its way. Then he dealt with the usual checks to the warp core and did his daily status meeting with his staff. Finally, he started to plow through the seemingly never-ending stack of reports he either had to review, approve or finish writing himself.  
  
Trip knew that many of his people were giving him looks of either concern or curiosity. He ignored them, determined to be pleasant and on an even keel. When it came time to him to go up to the bridge, he sent Hess in his place, telling her that he needed his staff to have more bridge experience. The look she gave him told him that she wasn't fooled, that something was wrong. He was relieved that she didn't try to say anything but a simple, "Yes, Commander."  
  
His staff must have figured out that he was hiding, because they brought him lunch, kept him supplied with coffee, and generally stayed out of his way. Padds were quietly brought to him, requests for him to go over and look at repairs that were finished or fine tuned were almost, but not quite, whispered. Despite his anxiety, Trip was pleased that they had decided to give him some space. At least, he could feel proud at how well his staff worked together and with him.  
  
As the end of his shift drew near, he still had not gotten the expected page to go up to the bridge. Trip felt his nerves become more stretched and taut, and he let himself wonder for the first time all day how Hoshi and Malcolm were doing. Did Malcolm hide in the Armory? Or did he go onto the bridge to be with Hoshi? Did Hoshi bury herself in the new upgrades to the UT? He felt guilty that he hadn't checked on them. The waiting was getting to him, and he became determined to go talk to Jon once he was off duty. He could not let this silence go on. He was tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop.  
  
"Archer to Tucker."  
  
Trip startled, nearly dropping his Padd. He forced himself to answer nonchalantly.  
  
"Tucker here, Cap'n."  
  
"Commander Tucker, please report to my ready room, now." Inwardly, Trip blanched. There was no emotion in Jon's voice.  
  
"Aye, Cap'n." Trip looked around and saw that the curious looks were now more pronounced. He motioned over to Ensign Tran, and handed her his Padd saying, "Tran, this is fine, go ahead and finish this up. Give it to Lieutenant Williams when he comes on duty. I'll be on the bridge." He strode out of the room, trying to get his body language to be relaxed.  
  
The journey to the bridge was the longest it had ever been.  
  
When he entered the bridge, he noticed that Hoshi and Malcolm were not there. Travis gave him a sympathetic smile and a small thumbs up. Trip wasn't surprised. Travis had his pulse on all the gossip aboard ship and wasn't stupid. He knew something was going down. T'Pol looked at him with her usual stoic Vulcan expression. "They are waiting for you, Commander."  
  
"Thank you, Sub-commander, I figured that." Trip couldn't help but sound sarcastic. She always seemed to bring that out in him.  
  
He turned, took a deep breath, and went in.  
  
Jon was sitting at his desk, his face hard. Malcolm was standing in perfect parade rest and Hoshi was standing with perfect posture, her eyes not leaving Jon's face. Trip drew himself up stiffly and said, "Commander Tucker reporting as ordered, sir."  
  
Jon stood up slowly, the expression on his face closed. "I have only this to say for now. Technically, the relationship the three of you have formed violates Starfleet regulations about fraternization between officers. However, I have been given a great deal of leeway as to how I enforce those regulations, as they are currently being revised. When I have become aware of relationships among my crew, I usually turn a blind eye, unless the situation becomes more...public. "  
  
Jon stopped and looked at them one at a time, with Trip being last. For the first time, in a long time, Trip found that his friend's eyes were unreadable.  
  
After a long moment, Jon continued. "In those cases, I've told them what I'm about to tell the three of you; as long as your relationship does not affect your professional dealings with each other, I will continue to turn a blind eye. If you cannot conduct yourselves properly while on duty, I'll have all of you up on charges and thrown off my ship. Do I make myself clear?"  
  
Trip looked at Malcolm and Hoshi and all three replied together with a clear. "Yes sir!"  
  
Jon's expression didn't change as he continued. "Good. Dismissed." He sat back down behind his desk and picked up a Padd.  
  
Trip exchanged a quick look with his lovers and remained while they left quietly.  
  
Jon looked up, his face as expressionless as T'Pol's. "Commander, you've been dismissed."  
  
Trip took a small step forward. "Cap'n...Jon, we need to talk. I owe you..."  
  
He was cut off by Jon, who said softly. "You don't owe me an explanation about your relationship with Hoshi and Malcolm. You owe me an explanation as to why you didn't trust me. You owe me an explanation as to why you call me your best friend and then don't clue me into how your life has changed. Jesus, Trip, did you think I'd be some narrow-minded bastard?"  
  
Trip felt his stomach twist, dread and guilt racing through his entire body. "Jon, it wasn't like that. I trust you with my life."  
  
Jon's eyes were the coldest Trip had ever seen as he continued to speak in a quiet, disappointed tone. "If you trust me with your life, why couldn't you tell me about Hoshi and Malcolm? And don't tell me it was because I'm the captain. That's bullshit, and you know that."  
  
Jon leaned forward in his chair and continued. "I took a lot of flack having you as my chief engineer because everyone knew we'd been best friends for years. I was told I should have more distance between myself and my crew. But I don't operate that way, I need for my officers and crew to feel that we have a bond of trust. And as my best friend, I couldn't imagine not having you here. And you knew that. Tell me why couldn't you have faith in our friendship?"  
  
Trip hung his head and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath to steady himself and when he looked up, he was shocked to see that Jon was the closest to tears that he'd ever seen in years. The first and only time he'd seen Jon cry was at Henry Archer's funeral.  
  
"I'm sorry Jon. All I can tell you is that I was afraid. I was afraid because I never expected myself to be involved in this way." Trip paused and started to pace the room. Anxiety was raging inside him and he needed to move.  
  
"Hell, all my relationships have been with just women, until now. I just couldn't picture me sayn' as we watch waterpolo or over dinner saying, 'Hey Jon--Hoshi, Malcolm and I, well we're now a group, a triad and sleepn' together.' I'm not ashamed of them, and I know they're not ashamed of being with me. I just couldn't figure out how to tell you that I love them."  
  
Trip watched as Jon leaned over slowly and put his face in his hands. Trip went closer to the desk and tentatively put his hand on Jon's shoulder. He winced as Jon flinched and looked up, his face once more closed. Trip let his arm drop once more to his side.  
  
"Look, Cap'n, I didn't mean to hurt you. I trust you, you're my best friend and I screwed up. I'm sorry, Jon. "  
  
Jon looked at his desk and then at Trip directly. "I'm pissed off at you because you didn't even try to say anything. Friends trust each other. I love you like the brother I never had and you let me down by not trusting me. Sorry is a start, but it's not enough right now. Just give me time, Trip. Now, I really don't want to talk about this anymore today. Please just leave."  
  
Trip nodded, feeling a heartache he'd never experienced before. As he opened the door, he turned and asked, "Do you want me to stop having dinner with you?"  
  
Jon nodded affirmatively, replying quietly, "Yeah, Trip. At least for the rest of this week, maybe next week too. When I'm ready to talk some more, I'll let you know."  
  
That night, on the big bed, surrounded by Hoshi and Malcolm, Trip Tucker cried for the first time since his own father had died. 


	5. The Big Bed

Part Five: The Big Bed  
  
Hoshi looked at her big bed with mounting sadness. Six more days and it would be gone. Seven more days and the Enterprise's mission would be officially over. They'd be back on Earth, their schedules filled with ceremonies, interviews, parties, and debriefings. One part of their lives over and new possibilities ahead.  
  
She sat down on the bed, caressing the sheets, letting the rush of emotions flood over her. If only this bed could talk. Obviously, it would tell a very erotic, at times pornographic story. She could still recall their first night on the bed, the three of them flushed with worry, desire, and love.  
  
Hoshi recalled how Malcolm stripped her and threw her on the bed, how Trip stumbled in his haste to pull off his jeans, shirt and shoes, and how Malcolm quickly and neatly stripped. They had fallen upon her, kissing her body, their hands roaming her and each other. She kissed and caressed them frantically, her need for them overwhelming her. At the time they all were very afraid of what might happen the next morning, so they furiously lost themselves in each other.  
  
They should have had more faith in Jon Archer.  
  
Not that the past five years had been easy. It took Jon a good part of a year before he could be totally at ease with them again, especially Trip. That he still called Trip his best friend touched Hoshi deeply. Trip would have been devastated if he'd lost Jon Archer's friendship. Not to mention that Malcolm and Hoshi would have felt deeply guilty. It was almost a year later that Jon told them that it was T'Pol who helped him accept their relationship and the fact that they kept it from him for so long. Trip had been floored, Malcolm surprised, but pleased, but Hoshi hadn't been shocked at all. T'Pol, she'd come to learn, was probably the most accepting person on board the Enterprise.  
  
Letting her thoughts drift back to the bed, Hoshi reflected that the bed could tell a love story. The bed could tell a story about all of their fears, their hopes, their dreams, their ambitions, their anger, their acceptance of each other. How many discussions had they had on this bed? How many arguments? How many apologies had been made on this bed? Too many to count.  
  
One of the most heated arguments on the big bed was about their marriage. Malcolm and Trip had wanted to establish a formal line marriage, while she had not.  
  
"Hoshi, we've all acknowledged long ago how much we need each other. Tell me again, what's wrong with makin' all of this formal?  
  
"Trip, I've told you and Malcolm that I'm not ready. I've been very happy with the way things have been for the past three years. Can't you just accept that I don't want to change anything. Marriage is change. Why do we need to go through a big change?"  
  
"You are the most stubborn woman in the universe Hoshi Sato," Trip exclaimed. He flopped backwards and blew a sigh towards the ceiling. "Malcolm, I've argued with her for twenty minutes and you've just sat there. Help me out man."  
  
Malcolm got off the floor and climbed onto the bed, pulling Trip into rare, loose hold from behind. He rested his head on Trip's shoulder and looked at Hoshi, his steely blue eyes gleaming with sadness.  
  
"I don't know what to say, Trip. I think Hoshi's afraid of us."  
  
"What!" Hoshi yelped. "What do mean I'm afraid of you? I'm the one who started this! I'm the one who insisted that we needed to be together! I'm the one who convinced the two of you to start up our relationship again! I'm the one who said that I loved the two of you first! I am not afraid of us!" She felt bewildered and hurt and wanted to shove them out of the bed.  
  
"But you are afraid. If you weren't, you wouldn't be afraid of change. Look, Hoshi love, you're the one who's good with words, with communication. You've dragged us kicking and screaming into telling you how we feel. Think about what we're telling you now. Trip and I are willing to commit formally to you and each other. From three separate individuals, to one partnership, with all that it entails, including children. A family. It all petrifies me, but I'm willing to take a chance. So is Trip."  
  
"So why not me, is that it? Maybe I don't want children, maybe I don't want anything formal. That in formalizing everything, I'd get lost amidst the two of you. And maybe I'm not ready to be have a family, to lose myself in raising kids. Knowing the two of you and how you feel about your careers, I'd be left behind. I'd be the one with all those responsibilities, while the two of you continue to have Starfleet careers and leave me alone..." she trailed off, amazed and shocked as she registered what she was saying. Hoshi then began to cry.  
  
The two men shifted their positions to draw her into a warm embrace, cradling her on either side.  
  
"Hoshi, we wouldn't leave you alone," Trip whispered in her hair.  
  
"No matter what, our marriage, our family would come first," Malcolm murmured.  
  
She cried and they held her. It still took her a week to agree.  
  
While Jon and their other friends and co-workers on the Enterprise accepted their decision and supported them, it had been a bumpy road for Hoshi and Trip. Malcolm didn't bother to contact his parents, as once again they were not on speaking terms, but he did contact his sister and his aunts. His sister was ecstatic for him and his aunts were pleased that Malcolm wouldn't spend the rest of his life alone. They insisted on speaking to Hoshi and Trip, saying "It's an amazing gift to have love. Yes, be sure you take care of each other and our dear boy."  
  
Trip's mother was mortified and shocked. "What about our family name? What about children? Who will accept your children as yours? Line marriages aren't accepted around here Charles Tucker the Third! Jesus Christ almightly...I can't deal with this right now. I'll write or send a sub-space message to you later." With that, she abruptly cut off the transmission.  
  
They comforted Trip as best they could. Later, after his mother had given him her blessing, Jon told them that he had contacted Trip's family. He had a long talk with his mother, his brother, his sisters, and his cousins. All Jon would tell them was that he let Trip's family know how happy he was for Trip and that he supported Trip's marriage fully. Overcome with gratitude, Trip hugged his best friend tightly, and was unable to speak for along time that night.  
  
Hoshi was the last of the three of them to contact her family. Her oldest brother still wouldn't talk to her. Her younger brothers reacted with a mixture of amazement and consternation. They both said something to the effect that she was the last one they'd ever expected to buck the norm and that it was kind of cool.  
  
Her father hadn't said a word. Instead, he turned towards her mother and let her do all the talking. With a stern, composed face, her mother gave vent to their disapproval. This wasn't what they had planned for her. Line marriages were still too new, too problematic, and too controversial. It would hurt her career, whether she stayed in Starfleet or tried to go back to the University. They would not give her their blessing. They would not condone or approve of her decision.  
  
Hoshi told them that she loved them, but she'd made her decision and wouldn't change her mind.  
  
That night, in the big bed, Trip and Malcolm made slow, gentle love to her, kissing away her tears.  
  
Now they were planning their future. They agreed to live in San Francisco. Trip was going to work in at Starfleet headquarters, spearheading the design of new warp engines. Malcolm accepted a first officer's position on a new prototype ship, but it would be a year and a half before the ship would be ready to go out. Hoshi accepted a professorship at the University of California at Santa Cruz. Most importantly, the three of them were expecting their first child.  
  
The big bed was where they made that decision eight months ago. The big bed was where she used the monitor Phlox had given her to follow her cycle, to track when she would ovulate. The big bed was where, six months ago, Trip held her in his arms, propped up on pillows behind her, stroking her body and the body of his co-husband as Malcolm impregnated her. The big bed was where they celebrated after Phlox confirmed that indeed, all their planning worked.  
  
She was going to miss this bed so much.  
  
She found herself crying, unable to stop. She didn't register Trip and Malcolm entering their quarters.  
  
"Hoshi, darlin', is everything all right?" said Trip's worried voice, startling her.  
  
She struggled a bit to sit up, wiping her tears away. "I'm going to miss our bed."  
  
Trip grinned and Malcolm smiled widely. "Oh, dear, not again," said Malcolm.  
  
"Don't patronize me Malcolm Reed!" Hoshi could literally feel her hormones swinging.  
  
"He's not patronizing you, Hoshi, he's just commenting. We've found you this way everyday for the past week, that's all." Trip reached and began to stroke her hair.  
  
Hoshi glared at them. "Men! You have no idea what I'm going through, what I'm..."  
  
"No, we don't," said Malcolm as he cut her off. He sat down on the bed and began to rub her ankles. "But that doesn't mean we aren't sympathetic to your moods."  
  
"Anyway, we have some news that might cheer you up." Trip gave a knowing nod to Malcolm that switched Hoshi's mood from annoyed to curious.  
  
"Don't just sit there grinning at each other, tell me the news!"  
  
Malcolm leaned over and kissed Hoshi's protruding belly. "We get to keep the big bed. We're going to set it up in the new house and Trip's going to make it even better."  
  
Hoshi felt dumbfounded. She stared at them for few moments, then sputtered out, "What are you talking about?"  
  
Trip started to chuckle. "I talked with Jon and he agreed that the big bed should stay with us. After all, this old girl will probably be put to use again, and we'd have to junk this bed to make everything look Starfleet prim and proper. It would be a shame to waste the materials, so once the bed's dismantled, it's going to be packed up as our belongings. We're taking it with us."  
  
"Yes, the madman strikes again. You should see the bloody plans he has to improve it once we get settled into our new home."  
  
"Well, at least I have a plan, and you're gonna have to help me with..."  
  
As they continued to jokingly bicker, Hoshi let their words flow over her. She looked at them intently, feeling as if her heart would explode with the love she felt for them. She reached out and stopped their conversation as she pulled them down towards her.  
  
"You two have made me very happy. Now, shut up and let's celebrate the saving of my big bed. Do as I say...boys."  
  
"As always, Hoshi love, as always,"  
  
"Yeah darlin', once again, we'll follow your lead." 


End file.
